Funny old month

It's been a bit of a funny old month. I admit I have neglected the blog somewhat, my apologies. Things have happened that have left my world slightly altered since the last entry, and I've taken a few weeks to mull things over.
So here goes...
Working in a PR agency is exciting, challenging, frustrating, varied, and I have loved it. The long hours were a pain though but there was the hope of progression and the opportunity for creativity, so I just gritted my teeth and got on with it. What few people think about it that PR professionals are linked to journalists. Very often they are ex-journalists, who have sharpened their skills in the cut and thrust of a newspaper publishing house. I had hoped that immersion in an agency would help me catch up on my writing skills, I had banked on this being the case in fact, and I hadn't allowed any room in my head for failure. Mind you that's consciously; subconsciously I'd been fretting for a few months, since Christmas really. Fully aware that if I couldn't write press releases to a better standard quickly then my days were numbered. I had a frank discussion with my managers and about a month ago I handed in my notice.

You only live once don't you?
You don't get given the years to waste them away on sadness, regret, frustration, guilt and self loathing.

My favourite poem:

Rudyard Kipling - If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream — and not make dreams your master;
If you can think — and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings — nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And — which is more — you'll be a Man, my son!

Mi poema favorito:

Rudyard Kipling - Si

Si logras conservar intacta tu firmeza cuando todos vacilan y tachan tu entereza.
Si a pesar de esas dudas, mantienes tus creencias sin que te debiliten extrañas sugerencias.
Si puedes resistir inmune a la fatiga y fiel a la verdad, reacio a la mentira, si el odio de los otros te deja indiferente sin creerte por ello muy sabio o muy valiente.
Si sueñas, sin por ello rendirte ante el ensueño.
Si piensas, mas de tu pensamiento sigues dueño.
Si triunfos ó desastres no menguan tus ardores y por igual los tratas como a dos impostores. Si soportas oír tu verdad deformada para trampa de necios por malvados usada ó mirar hecho trizas de tu vida el ideal y con gastados útiles recomienzas igual.
Si toda la victoria conquistada, te atreves a arriesgar en una audaz jugada, y aun perdiendo, sin quejas ni tristezas, con nuevos bríos reiniciar puedes tu empresa.
Si hasta el pueblo te acercas sin perder tu virtud y con reyes alternas sin cambiar de actitud. Si no logran turbarte amigo ni enemigo, pero en justa medida pueden contar contigo.
Si entregado a la lucha con nervio y corazón, aun desfallecido persistes en la acción y extraes energías, cansado y vacilante, de heroica voluntad que te ordena: ¡Adelante!
Si alcanzas a llenar el minuto sereno con sesenta segundos de un esfuerzo supremo... Lo que existe en el mundo en tus manos tendrás, Y además, hijo mío, ¡un hombre serás!

Despues de unos meses de vacilar y pensar, he decidido buscar otro empleo. Ha sido dificil porque de veras me gusto mucho mi trabajo pero mi estilo de escribir no es lo suficiente desarrollado para este nivel. Estoy pensando como solucionar las cosas, adquirir un empleo que me deja ser creativa pero sin dejarme sintiendo tan estresada - la vida es demasiada corta para esas tonterias.