gemandalex: January 2012

Josh is about to turn 14 weeks and we've just started to arrange his baptism. The days have a semi-rhythmical pattern of feeds and nappy changes to them and even bedtime appears to be settling down. It's as though I'm distanced enough from the birth and the chaos of the first weeks to write something constructive. So here is what we've learned:

If your labour is as long and arduous as mine it can really affect the first few weeks of your life together and that can be distressing. We were rocked by it all and it didn't help the breast feeding. All the literature says not to mix bottles and breast until they're at least 6 weeks old. This is I now know, pap. Utter pap. Quite a lot of the government literature is pap I've discovered. I know women who rescued their breast feeding by giving a bottle of formula at night so they could get some sleep. Some even gave it up for a week or two and then resumed it when they felt well enough, expressing all the while to keep their milk flowing. My first lesson I learned was, too late, stuff the rules.
From the start of his third week, when Alex went on paternity leave, I went to a mum and baby yoga class. This was a lifeline. Firstly I overcame the challenge of getting there on the bus with a baby, getting him dressed and fed, and generally functioning which made me feel wonderful. The breath of fresh air and the walk was good for him and for me and stopped me going crazy stuck in the house. The company of other mums also going through the same stuff made me feel much less alone. And the exercises we did together made me feel much more confident at handling him, knowing what to expect from him and able to encourage his development. Overall a thumbs up!
Sleep deprivation is absolutely the hardest thing to deal with in the whole world; no exaggeration. We were lucky that our big baby physically outgrew his moses basket and at 7 weeks (6 months is the government recommendation) had to move to his nursery. I learned that the mute button can be your best friend. This sounds awful but it is true. Babies are noisy sleepers. We disturbed him and vice versa. Add to that the basic fact that a newborn considers nighttime to be playtime and it becomes very hard going. Josh is fab though. As soon as he started to get interested in the world around him instead of sleeping all day he started sleeping better at night. And again I suppose bottle feeding came in handy here too because he could sustain playtime for longer between naps because bottles fill you up more. I'm still very sad we didn't breast feed but I don't imagine he'd be sleeping 10 hours a night like he does now if we had.
Colic can be overcome and medical professionals don't know what the hell they're talking about. Colic is described by the NHS as any unexplained crying. When I asked about colic and said he was crying A LOT they patronisingly said 'well babies do cry'. Colic can be made better (at least Josh's was) and here's what we did: Used probiotic; Changed him and laid him flat using a cushion/pillow; Raised his moses basket mattress at one end with a towel so his head was raised; Did a daily tummy time (it helps their digestion); Kept an eye on nappies for signs of any intolerances; Gave him water where possible; Burped him thoroughly and soothed him as much as possible; Tried Infacol (placebo effect I think) and Colief in his milk which actually worked; finally We changed his feed to Aptamil formula for colic and constipation. I couldn't say which one clinched it, maybe all of them, but at 10 weeks or so he just seemed to stop crying due to colic...
Only to be replaced by teething! Teething has made him crabby and I've found it easier to deal with than colic. For a start the cause is clear and by the time teething kicked in a) I was a more experienced mum and b) had discovered the dummy. The dummy was our best friend from about his 2nd week of life. To anyone who says they are unnecessary I say: pooh to you with knows on. We've tried baby Bongela and Anbesol; both recommended but the last two days Calpol had to be used as baby Joshua's cries became more anguished. But for a baby who needs to suck for comfort a dummy is an absolute must-have.
That said we have recently decided to cut down use of the dummy to a bare minimum and, proudly, I can report some success. He now uses it on average once a day, gets himself off to sleep for most naps without it and even some nights at least starts without it. The reason was purely because he woud thrash about at night searching for his beloved dummy; driving himself crazy he'd almost break his neck in the search. We're hoping cutting the use of it down will result in a better nights sleep for all of us. In defense of the dummy a speech and language therapist friend told us that non-nutritive sucking is very good for babies. Also, as it was one of the most familliar objects in Josh's life it was the first thing he tried to grab at, which improved his hand eye coordination enormously. Most importantly it helped to calm and soothe him at an age where very few other things could.

I think this summarises most major points but we learn new things daily. If asked would I do it again the answer is an emphatic 'yes'!