The Play - for real now

Ok, so you've had birds eye view, now here it was from ground level. The play that last week took on a life of it's own. We rehearsed every night in the theatre. I loved walking from Colmore Row to the Theatre District (all of 10 minutes) after work every day and mooching about in the theatre. It's one of life's great pleasures. There is a green room and dressing rooms and toilets upstairs. The green room has a kitchenette area and it started to feel like home after a week as we were generally there from 6-11pm each night. I got home and saw Alex in bed, usually half asleep, we'd exchange some tiny bit of information and then be fast asleep.
It was marred fundamentally by the ongoing nonsense of a major member of the cast and while there is expected to be a certain amount of last minute panicking the stress she gave us all on Tuesday night was entirely un-called for. But hey, we carried on through and did ourselves proud, even without her there on the one night. People were still learning their lines and there was a lot of nervousness back stage. But also a growing excitement that we might actually pull it off!
There are at least 2 floors above the stage and one below as well as the wings for people to get lost in and lose track of time. You have to be on the ball not to miss an entrance and there was one occasion when I had to go scurrying off to find Mike and grab him from under the stage with only mili-second to spare before we were on. My costume changes were pretty fast so behind the scenes I was throwing clothes on and off with no dignity intact whatsoever. I suppose it's a relief to many actresses that many actors are gay... The first time I changed I made a vague effort to hide behind some thing but pretty soon I was stood in my bra for all the world to see without a second thought! Fortunately everyone else was so busy there was no time for embarrassment. In the dress rehearsal I missed an entrance because I was desperately trying to get Sam's zip up and failing. Also mine and Anna's nurse's dresses were altered wrongly and we had a bit of a time working out how we were going to wear them. In the end I wore Anna's and she wore mine. Mine was too big for her but it at least covered her bum when she danced and was picked up by Iain. Anna is a size 10, I am a 14 - so to say her dress was tight on me was an understatement! I had to wear leggings otherwise I wasn't going on stage - but in the end it only managed to make more of a comedy of the situation...
On the Friday night we took our bows after the first performance and Leon and I gave each other the most squeezable hug ever. So very proud of us all. That night we went for a quick drink with Lisa and Danielle for some self congratulating and I felt great. On a huge high. By Saturday night my pervading emotion was of being exhausted.  But looking back at it now I can really enjoy the memory.
Girls from work came to see it and said it was really good, as did all my friends and family, but I can quite understand why some actors are a bit needy or get insecure. It makes you insecure; you feel very exposed. You know in your head how you want it to look, how you think you look and sound, but there's no way of knowing. You end up asking everyone if it was ok and then 'was it really?' and again...
On the Saturday night Al, me, Sam, Claire, Iain, Amanda and Jo and Carl and Catherine all went to the Victoria and ended up staying until 2.30. Al's opinion is one I value very highly because he's the least likely to say it was good when it wasn't. So the fact he said 'It was the best of the three I'd seen, and you did very well... that Mike was excellent' was high praise indeed! We broke down the set at 10am the next morning and quite frankly I was a little tired... but we chilled that evening and fortunately it was a bank holiday so I had an extra day to get myself together again for work that week. All that week I was so tired that the soles of my feet hurt - as though I'd gone on a hike - I think I need some time off!

The limelight

Our dressing room's really did have those bulbs around the mirrors

Where I spent the majority of the play - centre stage

Mike coming out from hiding - at the last minute

The view from the stage at dress rehearsal

bloody relief

Baby Shower

Ok so that was how the play was received, but I thought I should give you a performer's eye view of the production. First though, the week before the play, I had one last little surprise to throw.
I had been organising Laura's baby shower since February, more or less, and the Saturday before the play Laura was intended to arrive at 2pm and get a surprise 'shower'. For the uninitiated a baby shower is a party where the mum to be gets showered with presents and traditionally get a hamper of baby goodies. Here is how it went down...
On Friday night I cooked sultana squares, a semi-healthy cake for people to nibble... Laura was diagnosed as diabetic during pregnancy so I tried to find a sweet recipe that wasn't loaded with sugar. This used a purée of dried apricots as a sweetener and was very nice. I also made guacamole. Me and Al hung out and I cooked intermittently; it was a really hot summer night, one where normally I'd have done anything possible to avoid the cooker and stay in the garden. I reorganised the layout of the kitchen dining room and tidied up the downstairs. I started to realise how much work, cooking in particular, I'd given myself to do - I'd been off work in the week with some kind of bug and was just getting my energy levels back (i'd felt really wiped out), but there was enough time I thought. I did take a short cut and chose not to make my own ginger beer, opting instead for shop bought... booo.
The saturday morning kicked off at 8am when cooking began in earnest. I made bacon koftas, patatas bravas, soda bread, little mini pizzas and sorted out the treasure hunt for Emma to play. Everything I cooked later went down very well and I got asked for the recipes. In fact they got munched so quickly that I didn't get photos of the blighters, but never mind! Emma, Laura's friend, arrived at 11am ish, although now I think there was some heavy traffic and she was late but as so was everyone else that morning it all worked out. Emma had brought a baby shower and streamers and balloons and began decorating and helping out. I was still cooking furiously when Cath and Teresa arrived (and brought their own chairs, bless them - good move, too). Between them and Emma they got the Baby Photo Gallery up on the wall, mounting each photo on some blue card on the wall in the extension. They also helped wrap presents. Claire arrived with her beautiful cake. All that was left was for me to sort out Emma's Treasure Hunt - I got in a pickle with the order of things. Bernadette (Nath's mum) arrived, and god love her had been the Mum in the situation bringing salad which she duly set about preparing and napkins and she'd brought coleslaw and all kinds of dip. If ever there is an emergency I reckon Bernadette is a good woman to have around, she strikes me as very capable!!!
At the last minute Vanessa (Lau's sister) and all of the rest of Nath's family; LC, Leah, Pippa, and Anne got held up by a combination of buses and bad traffic and husbands so when Nathan phoned he interpreted my squeaky voice correctly and calmly said "OK so we'll see you at half past 2 then, yeah?" - with Laura standing next to him on the phone we'd managed to delay proceedings without causing any suspicion. It even allowed Bernadette time to collect the family and park the car off our rd so that Laura wouldn't see her personalised number plate! Everything was set and we waited.
Alex, who'd been roped into blowing up balloons and who hadn't allowed in/near his own kitchen for the last 12 hours was getting hot and narky. Everyone was waiting. And it was boiling. Brad from next door was going from a drink with Al and Nath as he's on the same football team shouted down from the window - 'are you ready yet?'. It was 2.45. It was 3 o'clock. Are they coming? Perhaps something's come up... can anyone see their car?
Finally Al shouted that he could see them, they were walking down the road and Emma was on her scooter, so they were walking slowly... Finally Al let them in, there was a delay then Laura's 'Oh my God!' and we all shouted 'SURPRISE!!!!!' as loudly as possible from the garden. Laura, bless her cottons, promptly burst into tears. After greeting everyone and cuddling Emma they boys made themselves scarse.
The afternoon followed in a swirl of heat and food and games and chatter. The food went down well, as I said. The games were fun too. We had to guess the number of Smarties in the baby's bottle (no one came close) and predictably Emma got to eat all the Smarties. We all played Guess the Baby's Name, as a kind of reverse sweepstake - my favourite was Kermit. And we played Smell the Nappy. Yes, you read that correctly. I had four nappies and filled them with monstrous looking fillings that people had to guess at by smelling and licking if necessary! The fillings were guacamole, marmite, mustard and peanut butter and excited plenty of yuks and euurghs and the like as you can imagine. Much fun!
We moved into the extension where it took the combined forces of Laura and Emma a good ten minutes to open the 3 hampers and bags of goodies! Then some more chilling and the photo gallery where we all got to giggle at our baby selves. Then LC and Leah went home and suddenly, like an idiot, I realised I'd not taken any photos... So here we all are, minus LC and Leah unfortunately. Next post is the play, I promise...

Baby Shower

Recipes

Rosemary and olive soda bread

Mix sifted flour (200g, self raising) with bicarbonate of soda (1/2 tsp) and stir in chopped olives (30g) and chopped rosemary. Stir in 100g natural plain yoghurt with a knife to make a clean ball - add a little water if necessary. Mark into wedges with a knife and press some olive spigs into these score lines. Bake in a preheated oven at gas mark 7 for 20-25 minutes or until it sounds hollow when you tap it from underneath. Yum.

Bacon Koftas

Place 225g rindless back bacon into the food processor (if it isn't large you might need to do this in batches) with 75g breadcrumbs, 2 chopped spring onions, some parsley,, lemon rind of 1 lemon, an egg white and black pepper. Process until it is finely chooped but not pureed, it just needs to bind together. Divide the mixture into 8 evenly sized portions then shape around bamboo/wooden skewers. Sprinkle with paprika. Cook under the grill or on the bbq for 8-10 mins, turning occasionally.

Patatas bravas

Not a family recipe this is from a book so this might not be everyone's way of cooking them...

Heat 2tbs olive oil and add a finely chopped onion. Cook on a medium heat, stirring, until softened. Add 2 garlic cloves, crushed then after 30 seconds add 50ml sherry or white wine (I used sherry) and bring to the boil. Add 400g chopped tomatoes, 2 tsp red wine vinegar 2tsp crushed chillies, and paprika and simmer until it forms a thick sauce. Blend with a hand held blender once cool. Then fry your potatoes and voilà!

We survived!

Lord above, there was a split second there when I doubted but for all the drama of the week before the performance we survived, the show went on and it was a good one! It's not printable, most of it, so ask me in person and I'll give you all the gossip. Only know this; we were magnificent! Here is the review and some of my photos - they're not very good but as soon as I get my hands on some official ones I'll post them. Read it carefully - I did get a mention!

Potential for laughs realised ***

Comic Potential - Billesley Players - Old Rep. Birmingham 

UNLESS you can’t manage it in the half-light, read the programme note before curtain-up. I omitted to do so, with the result that for the first few minutes of my first sighting of this Alan Ayckbourn comedy I was thinking that the acting around the hospital bed was a bit on the slow side.

I did work it out for myself before too long, but a few words here may help anyone planning to see the show on Saturday, its second – and last – night.

The point is, the action is in the future and actors are androids – or, indeed actoids, as became apparent from the terminology surrounding them. They are creatures of wire circuits, nano-serbas –  or something like that – and bits, and those involved in a daytime soap now being shot are worth £1.7 million.

These nuggets of understanding, plus the fact that the nephew of the owner of the television station falls in love with an actoid, are sufficient to provide a basis for enjoying the action.

Apart from one unplanned extended first-night hiatus, Iain Neville’s production coped well with the three scenes before the interval and the ten that followed it. When furniture and props had to be shifted, they were shifted swiftly. Efficiency was in the air.

INNOCENT AND IRRESISTIBLE

Efficiency was treading the boards, too. Michael Nile came lugubriously but alertly to his duties as Chandler Tate, director of the epic that was unfolding before our eyes, and Leigh McCarroll scored as Adam, nephew of the owner of the TV station and would-be author of his own drama.

This was centred around Jacie Triplethree, the innocent and irresistible actoid with an unpredictable tendency to shriek without warning, to speak intermittently at a rate of knots and to switch accents between Brummie, Yorkshire and the Deep South without pausing for breath.

Jacie is delightful. In her bleaker moments, she manages to tug the heartstrings. She is played by Anna Downes, who has fashioned for her a piping voice, a walk of tiny steps and a wide-eyed matter-of-factness in the face of life’s little problems. One of these inconveniences is that she needs to be emptied every so often.

She is very amusing when she performs Here Comes the Hot-Stepper, and hilarity peaks again in the restaurant scene which finds her anxiety about being emptied being met by Mr McCarroll by dint of diving under the table and following her instructions to turn something one way or the other, while fellow-diners look on with ill-concealed interest, compounded when he eventually emerges with a half-filled plastic container.

CUSTARD PIE MOMENT

Interestingly, the actoid innocence is set in a play in which Ayckbourn abandons his customary high standards of language a couple of times. This is another surprise in an evening that is not exactly short of them. There is even a good old-fashioned custard pie moment, superbly executed by everybody’s favourite actoid and received nobly and with the requisite consternation by Patricia Hands in the guise of Carla Pepperbloom, regional TV director.

Gemma Harris and Samantha Broome are a good pairing as the television show’s backroom girls, Leon Salter is Marmion, who acts as the larynx of Lester Trainsmith (Tony Nock), the station owner who eventually finds his voice to deliver a substantial speech from his wheelchair.

There are vigorous cameos from Tracey Bolt, as a prostitute, and Iain Neville, as the man who discovers an actoid in the seedy hotel which he regards as his own for his girls’ purposes. There are lively lines: “What do you know about anything at all? You’re an accountant.” There is laughter galore, particularly in the second act. There is an abundance of honest endeavour. It’s fun. To 29.5.10.

John Slim

 BOX OFFICE: officeboxoffice@birmingham.gov.uk  0121 303 2323 

The Theatre

Trudi & Prim (aka Sam and Gemma)

Breaking down the set - the old troopers - hung over