Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it.. don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
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Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
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Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!
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Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
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Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!
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Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
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Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
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Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
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Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
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Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
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Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.
Thursday, July 26, 2007
Saturday, July 21, 2007
A tribute to the very wet, wet, wet
I'm not sure how this has been reported abroad, but here in the UK the British stiff upper lip has faced a bit of a battering. Ok, it's summer and it's rainy. Most people probably wouldn't react with a sharp intake of breath, bu it's the extreme consequences that have caused the huge problems for so many people.
Today we were meant to be going to a wedding in the Cotswolds, which was only called off 40 minutes ago.
The middle of England has been worst affected, with Hereford, Worcester and the Cotswolds the epicentre.The village of Beckford, where the bride's family live, is the site of the village hall, which was the reception venue but now serves as a refugee camp.
The bride got stranded at the next village over when she went to get her nails done. for 18 hours she wasn't able to get back to her family or Rich.
We'd called around loads of B&B's to book our accomodation and ended up booking lodging with a lovely retired lady name Denise. Yesterday I spoke to her and she said our flat was flooded but she offered us her house for free - today she said all the neighbours were "rallying" and that she was off to get a pump to get the water out of her neighbours house. That we were still welcome to come but that she heard a man turned off the M5 and floated away!
Beckford was today under 5 feet of water. According to the BBC around 2,000 people have been taken to emergency centres in Tewkesbury (next to Beckford), Gloucester, Cheltenham, Chipping Campden and Moreton in Marsh. The roads to Beckford were cut off entirely.
Oh, and we're in JULY??????????????????! Lesson learned for the day: wedding insurance. Me and Alex pooh pooed the idea and now we're definately on board.
Something that makes me smile is that the wedding was only called off at 10am. Friends of the groom that we know were all still prepared to brave the M5. The plan was for many to camp overnight after the party, including the bride and groom, but with this weather they'd have floated away! Our friend Cosmic at 9.30 said he was eyeing his tent with a lack of confidence... Anywhere else they'd have cancelled it the day before, but not in Britain. These mad, lovely people were determined to have their wedding come what may. God love the togs, the stiff upper lips, the sheer obstinacy of the Brits and the wet, wet, wet!
A Road in worcestershire
Tenbury Wells - where Lauren at work lives and whoose 500 year old bridge collapsed a couple of weeks ago in the last flood
Beckford - from the old english "Becca's Ford". Entered in the Doomsday book (1085 AD) as Beceford. http://www.beckford-village.org/gallery_frame.php?gall=gallery
Today we were meant to be going to a wedding in the Cotswolds, which was only called off 40 minutes ago.
The middle of England has been worst affected, with Hereford, Worcester and the Cotswolds the epicentre.The village of Beckford, where the bride's family live, is the site of the village hall, which was the reception venue but now serves as a refugee camp.
The bride got stranded at the next village over when she went to get her nails done. for 18 hours she wasn't able to get back to her family or Rich.
We'd called around loads of B&B's to book our accomodation and ended up booking lodging with a lovely retired lady name Denise. Yesterday I spoke to her and she said our flat was flooded but she offered us her house for free - today she said all the neighbours were "rallying" and that she was off to get a pump to get the water out of her neighbours house. That we were still welcome to come but that she heard a man turned off the M5 and floated away!
Beckford was today under 5 feet of water. According to the BBC around 2,000 people have been taken to emergency centres in Tewkesbury (next to Beckford), Gloucester, Cheltenham, Chipping Campden and Moreton in Marsh. The roads to Beckford were cut off entirely.
Oh, and we're in JULY??????????????????! Lesson learned for the day: wedding insurance. Me and Alex pooh pooed the idea and now we're definately on board.
Something that makes me smile is that the wedding was only called off at 10am. Friends of the groom that we know were all still prepared to brave the M5. The plan was for many to camp overnight after the party, including the bride and groom, but with this weather they'd have floated away! Our friend Cosmic at 9.30 said he was eyeing his tent with a lack of confidence... Anywhere else they'd have cancelled it the day before, but not in Britain. These mad, lovely people were determined to have their wedding come what may. God love the togs, the stiff upper lips, the sheer obstinacy of the Brits and the wet, wet, wet!
A Road in worcestershire
Chipping Camden, Gloucestershire
Tenbury Wells - where Lauren at work lives and whoose 500 year old bridge collapsed a couple of weeks ago in the last flood
Beckford - from the old english "Becca's Ford". Entered in the Doomsday book (1085 AD) as Beceford. http://www.beckford-village.org/gallery_frame.php?gall=gallery
Tuesday, July 17, 2007
Thought this was ace!
" ESTE VERANO, ¿QUIERES SER SIRENA O BALLENA?
This summer do you want to be a whale or a mermaid?
Las ballenas están siempre rodeadas de amigos (delfines, leones marinos, humanos curiosos) Tienen una vida sexual muy activa, se embarazan y tienen ballenitas de lo más tiernas a las que amamantan. Se lo pasan bomba con los delfines poniéndose moradas de camarones. Juegan y nadan, surcando los mares, conociendo lugares tan maravillosos como La Patagonia, el mar de Barens o los arrecifes de coral de la Polinesia. Las ballenas cantan muy bien y hasta graban CD's. Son impresionantes y casi no tienen más depredador que los humanos. Son queridas, defendidas y admiradas por casi todo el mundo.
Whales are forever surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They have a very active sex life, they get pregnant and have very adoring babies. They swim and play through the seas, getting to know wonderful places like Patagonia and Polinesia. They sing very well and have even been known to record CD's. They almost have no natural predator except human kind. They are loved, defended and admired by nearly the whole world.
Las sirenas no existen. Y si existieran harían cola en las consultas de los psicoanalistas porque tendrían un grave problema de personalidad: "¿mujer o pescado? No tienen vida sexual porque matan a los hombres que se acercan a ellas, además, ¿por dónde? Así que tampoco pueden tener hijos. Son bonitas, es verdad, pero solitarias y tristes, además ¿quién querría acercarse a una chica que huele pescadería?
Mermaids don't exist. And even if they did they'd be in the queue for a therapist because of the "woman/fish" coundrum. They have no sex life because they have a habit of of killing the men that come near them. And anyway, how would that work? So they also can't have kids. They are pretty, true but lonely and sad, and anyway, who'd want to go near a girl stinking of fish?
Yo lo tengo claro, quiero ser ballena.
I'm decided. I want to be a whale.
-
Con el tiempo ganamos peso porque al acumular tanta información en la cabeza, cuando ya no hay más sitio, se reparte por el resto del cuerpo, así que no estamos gordas, somos tremendamente cultas.
Over time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information in our brains that, when there's no more room, it spreads over the rest of our body. So we're not fat, we're just incredibly knowledgable.
This summer do you want to be a whale or a mermaid?
Las ballenas están siempre rodeadas de amigos (delfines, leones marinos, humanos curiosos) Tienen una vida sexual muy activa, se embarazan y tienen ballenitas de lo más tiernas a las que amamantan. Se lo pasan bomba con los delfines poniéndose moradas de camarones. Juegan y nadan, surcando los mares, conociendo lugares tan maravillosos como La Patagonia, el mar de Barens o los arrecifes de coral de la Polinesia. Las ballenas cantan muy bien y hasta graban CD's. Son impresionantes y casi no tienen más depredador que los humanos. Son queridas, defendidas y admiradas por casi todo el mundo.
Whales are forever surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They have a very active sex life, they get pregnant and have very adoring babies. They swim and play through the seas, getting to know wonderful places like Patagonia and Polinesia. They sing very well and have even been known to record CD's. They almost have no natural predator except human kind. They are loved, defended and admired by nearly the whole world.
Las sirenas no existen. Y si existieran harían cola en las consultas de los psicoanalistas porque tendrían un grave problema de personalidad: "¿mujer o pescado? No tienen vida sexual porque matan a los hombres que se acercan a ellas, además, ¿por dónde? Así que tampoco pueden tener hijos. Son bonitas, es verdad, pero solitarias y tristes, además ¿quién querría acercarse a una chica que huele pescadería?
Mermaids don't exist. And even if they did they'd be in the queue for a therapist because of the "woman/fish" coundrum. They have no sex life because they have a habit of of killing the men that come near them. And anyway, how would that work? So they also can't have kids. They are pretty, true but lonely and sad, and anyway, who'd want to go near a girl stinking of fish?
Yo lo tengo claro, quiero ser ballena.
I'm decided. I want to be a whale.
-
Con el tiempo ganamos peso porque al acumular tanta información en la cabeza, cuando ya no hay más sitio, se reparte por el resto del cuerpo, así que no estamos gordas, somos tremendamente cultas.
Over time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information in our brains that, when there's no more room, it spreads over the rest of our body. So we're not fat, we're just incredibly knowledgable.
Saturday, July 07, 2007
Babies and weddings, but not ours!
Alex and I went to visit our friends the Gallaghers the other day. There's three of them now, Phil Ruth and George. 'Mazing how people keep multiplying these days! Isn't he a cutie? And note their garden, it's all Phil's handiwork. My god that man's got green fingers. He could put a walking stick in the ground and it would grow (our neighbour Hannah has a tree in her garden that she swears was once a walking stick!)
News update on our wedding, 5th April in case you hadn't heard, is we have a venue, a church, a dress and now a photographer! Ruth, pictured here, has at last consented to do a few 'semi official' photos for us. No three hour photo shoot mind you, can't be doing with all that hanging on involved with weddings. After all you're there for the day not the photos, aren't you?!
Speaking of weddings... I was a bridesmaid! Got almost no good photos so this post is a bit of a failure! Anyway it was my lovely uncle and his beautiful bride Angela. Was chuffed to bits to be asked a year ago - thought I was past it! And it was in the fab town of Portsmouth, by the sea. We got there last friday and enjoyed the one break in the rain that we've had in what seems like forever! Look at it, isn't it beautiful?! 
That's England, can you believe!? Anyway we went for a long walk around the city, sampling the delights of the various pubs. There's the Wellington, which if you ask me looked lovely. I'm basing this on the fact that there was a dog in the corner and a bunch of locals in the other. And when a gentleman tried to buy a bag of crisps so he could get change the barlady insisted that she just change the pound coin for him for free. Lovely stuff. We trotted around old Portsmouth too, found a cool bar called The American. Then we went off for some food at a french sounding restaurant, very posh and very yummy!
That's England, can you believe!? Anyway we went for a long walk around the city, sampling the delights of the various pubs. There's the Wellington, which if you ask me looked lovely. I'm basing this on the fact that there was a dog in the corner and a bunch of locals in the other. And when a gentleman tried to buy a bag of crisps so he could get change the barlady insisted that she just change the pound coin for him for free. Lovely stuff. We trotted around old Portsmouth too, found a cool bar called The American. Then we went off for some food at a french sounding restaurant, very posh and very yummy!After this brief holiday we had THE WEDDING..!
All very lovely, big dress, chandeliers, the works. Unfortunately the rain came to stay and gone were the beautiful sun drenched views of the sea, which is why the indoor photos were taken. I ask you, in JUNE! But at least the
church wasn't flooded I guess, so it had more luck than most of the rest of England it seems!
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